Thursday, March 5, 2009

Saying our Goodbyes

We seem to be quietly, and almost privately, each saying our personal goodbyes to life the way we've lived it up until this point. There is so much that is about to change for all of us in the next weeks and months. Beginning on Monday, the liquid protein diet phase of preparation begins prior to the actual surgery. Except for a few minor additions to the regimen (applesauce, sugar-free pudding, small amounts of fruit, oatmeal and cream of wheat) meals will consist of liquid protein shakes for two weeks. We'll be eliminating caffeine, carbonated beverages, and all alcohol.

During these last few days, we are more and more consciously choosing the things that we are eating in a sort of "farewell" mode. One last Italian pasta meal -- with a good hearty red wine. One final trip to our favorite Mexican restaurant -- Grande platters and margaritas. Probably a big seafood feast on Sunday evening... And then, whoosh -- right into the final whirlwind that will radically and forever change the way the world of food IS for our family.

It is a little overwhelming; a little scary; a little tiny bit exciting. Mostly it is just hard to imagine what this is going to be like in six months or a year.

It is my intention, insofar as it is possible to do, that I'll eat right along with Master and T as we progress through all of this. There is NO WAY that I'm going to sit with them, as they drink their protein shakes, and munch down on stuff that will cause this process to be more difficult for the two of them. Master is concerned that, since I am not having bypass surgery, eating like they do may be actually harmful for me. I don't have any idea how it is going to go, and I likely will have to eat at least a bit more than they do, but that needs to not be something that makes it miserable for us all to eat together. We'll just have to see what happens here.

Anyway, as one friend has dubbed it, we are in "Last Supper" mode around here. Every meal is the "last" of its kind. Sigh.



M:e said...

I imagine with the busy daily lives you all live that shared meals tend to be at the beginning and the end of the day. I wholeheartedly applaud you wanting to do whatever you can to make this as easy as possible for Tom and T, and I can also understand his concern that this might be harmful for you if you don't have the same medical reasons for it. I'm sure you've all already thought of this, but if you do need more to stay healthy than Tom and T are allowed, could you maybe have that at lunchtime if that's not a shared meal? Just a thought.

love and hugs xxx

T said...

Sweetie, We appreciate ALL of your support throughout this procedure.....BUT, it is VERY important that you continue to be healthy for all of us. You cannot work if you make yourself sick. You won't be able to help during surgery week if you have weakened your immunity and gotten a "kid-cold" at school.

We love you and appreciate you want to keep food out of our paths....but you are going to HAVE to have more than we are. So run for the Border occasionally, or make your beloved Mac-N-Cheese for one.

We all want to be together forever....and healthy.


selkie said...

also, remember, swan, that are you going to be on the same vitamin regime? Becuase if you're not, then you WILL get sick! I appreciate it though, as M:e says, perhaps meals NOT with them will be balanced.

The reality is that most of us have such an intimate relationship with food; in our society so much is bound up in in its consumption; not just calories, but spirituality, emotional needs, moods, ...

I think it will be difficult, but at some point (hopefully sooner rather than later) the way in which all of you view food will take a great big change ... it won't represent what it did for you. It will become somehting merely needed for nourishment and as fuel. That's not a bad thing becuaase in its stead, you guys will find other ways to 'feed' whatever it was that food was providing.

I know this, not becuase of surgery but becuase I've had my own (ongoing) journey with food. When I have been on very strict diets, there is the initial dificulties then the freedom! I stop thinking about it, stop worrying about it, stop craving it.

There WILL be a light, i BELIEVE that.

Amber said...

I think it's wonderful that you are going to eat along with them as much as possible, swan. :) When my ex had to go on a very strict diet per doctor's orders for a year back when we were married, I automatically volunteered to eat/drink what he did as much as possible. My MIL could not get over me doing that and told me so and I stared at her; what else did she think I was going to do? Like you, I could not imagine drinking wine and having fatty, sugary foods when my husband could not.

Oh and I couldn't help but snigger at "liquid protein diet". hehehehe...that has a WHOLE 'NOTHER CONNOTATION around here! lol :)