Friday, July 31, 2009

More Changes In Response to Kaya's Question

Kaya asked us to talk about changes we're experiencing as a result of our weight loss and the surgeries that precipitated it.

This question has had me listing quality of life improvements all day. I am walking...power walking.......four and a quarter miles each day. We were rained out for our walk last night and so today we walked this morning and we are going to go out tonight again after dark (as much as anything, because we want to try our new LED head lamps for night walking we just had delivered.) Thus we will walk 8 1/2 miles total today. Before the surgery I couldn't do one lap (.85 miles) without at least one, and sometimes as many as 3 stops, for a rest. Sue and I were talking while we walked this morning. She talked about how terrified she was throughout those walks that I might have a heart attack or a stroke because I was so struggling with the exertion of this simple walk. That is a huge change.

My hips, and particularly my knees, are terrifically arthritic. My left knee needs replacement when I get to it. The level of pain in those joints had diminished greatly.

I used to awaken in the middle of the night feeling that someone had doused my upper left leg in lighter fluid and ignited it. It was a lovely neurological condition called meuralgia peristhetica. It results from obesity. It is gone.

I used to drink most nights as a primary means of relaxation and recreation. Now I drink not at all. My primary recreations seem to be walking, surfing the net, spanking and fucking:)

I haven't taken a Viagra since my surgery and weight loss.

I take less than one fourth of the pills I used to take. My doctor's office called today and told me to discontinue taking, Zetia, my cholesterol medication. My cholesterol is now perfect without medication.

When I go to public meetings, receptions, etc., an important aspect of my job, I can stand up with everyone else without being in terrific pain and sweating profusely as was the case before my surgery and the subsequent weight loss (which is today BTW within one and a half pounds of reaching the 100 pound weight loss milestone.)

I no longer shop at big men's stores because it is the only place I can find clothes that fit. Now we shop for me at second hand stores, in that I pass through clothing sizes about every two to three weeks, so it doesn't make sense to buy new clothes which will be too large for me in 2 to 3 weeks.

OK now here are some very personal ones...which you might not want to read so be forewarned.

I used to not be able to wash between the cheeks of my ass. Now that is no problem.

If you've been reading over at The Heron Clan you know how very much swan and I have come to enjoy OTK spanking. I couldn't do that before. You can't take someone over your lap for a spanking when you have no lap.

I am on hormone replacement therapy for testosterone. The Testosterone is a gelatinous clear semi-liquid that I rub on my butt, well I do today that is, now that I can reach my butt.

My penis is now 4 or 5 times longer than it was, and, no, I have not purchased any product advertised by spammers to accomplish that. If you have a 50 foot tall rocket and you bury 49 feet and 9 inches of sand (or more like it, fat) around it, it will appear to be a three inch bump. Now I am not claiming to have 50 feet, but I think the analogy works. And my previously retarded ejaculation....well it ain't retarded no more! Swan keeps telling me I'm like doing a 16 year old in the backseat of a Chevy. I keep asking her how she knows:)

I will likely think now of a couple of dozen more things, but the improvements are many and varied as you can see.

All the best,


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.


Kaya asked what changes do we see since the weight loss.

First for me was I can cross my legs like a normal person. I have NEVER been able to cross them like a has always been the ankle over a knee. I was STUNNED that I can do this and find I do it all the time now.

There are bones in my butt! Geesh, how do skinny people sit without poking bones thru' their butt cheeks? I feel like I have to haul a pillow around with me to keep from marring furniture with my sharp bits. I also have found rib bones....where in the HELL did those come from??

Shaving legs is easier. Scrubbing the tub is easier. Scrubbing out the fridge is easier. Bathing is easier. Sitting in normal chairs is easier and way more comfy. Trimming toe nails is easier. Getting 3 in a bed is easier.

We went to Red Lobster and I sat in a REAL BOOTH for the first time in years. And there was plenty of room between me and the table.

Walking is easier. Yesterday my office went to a baseball game. I was parked away from the elevator that we usually use, and thought I had 1 flight of stairs to was FOUR! And I did it without breaking a sweat or getting short of breath! I was pretty tickled about that.

I shortened the seat distance in my car because I have more room between me and the wheel. Sometimes I drove with the tips of my shoes, because my tummy was on the wheel.

Shopping is easier. Walking doesn't kill the knee like it used to. Yesterday, I was shopping and forgot to get something on the other side of the store. In the past, I would have deliberated whether that item was REALLY necessary or could I get it on the next trip....yesterday I didn't even think about it, I just hauled my bony butt across the store and back again. No sweat!

Being in public is easier. We look better, feel better, move better. We are perceived differently in professional settings.

I am sure there are MANY more differences and Tom will probably note quite a few, as well.

They say "Change is good".....suddenly I am all for it!


Sunday, July 26, 2009

Pictues at Four Months.

It has been four months since the surgery. Here are pictures, taken today. On the left, are pictures that we took in the days just before the surgery -- for comparison with the newest photos on the right...

Friday, July 24, 2009

Forerunner 101

He and I have adopted walking as our exercise mode of choice. It is simple to do right here around our little condominium neighborhood, and being outside relaxes us and gets us to spend time talking with one another. It is relatively inexpensive. We have some decent shoes and socks that we invested in a number of years ago. We have headlights that we use if we happen to be walking after dark. We have some water bottles that T bought just before the surgery. That's it. Nothing fancy.

We have been using His watch (which has a stopwatch feature) to time ourselves as we walk, and we've long estimated that the path we follow is "about" a mile. Therefore, we could count laps, multiply -- and come up with an approximate distance we were walking. Hence, as we've moved up to walking four laps each day, we've calculated that we were covering four miles. Not a bad distance.

Now though, we have a new toy. He ordered a Garmin Forerunner 101 hand-held GPS unit, and we tried it out this morning. It tracks distance and time and a whole host of other interesting data. It is a neat addition to our walking gear. The very first bit of news that we got, using it on our walk today, is that our route is not quite a mile; it is actually only 0.85 of a mile. So, we haven't been walking 4 miles. We are closer to 3.4 miles. Ahhh well. Good to know.


Sunday, July 19, 2009

Entertaining Bariatric Style

For the past 3 weeks I have been planning a surprise party for Tom's 91 year old father. He lives in a senior apartment complex. It is a very nice place, very reminiscent of an up-scale hotel. He lives in a 1 bedroom apartment and dines with the other "Inmates", as he calls them, in the main dining room. Since moving in, he has become great friends with many of the other "Inmates" and has even found himself a darling "Lady Friend".

A few weeks ago, someone asked "How do you handle food for gatherings/holidays?". I mentioned that I cook as usual, but Tom and I just eat less and enjoy the company more. But with this event having just happened, I thought I would expound...

The party was yesterday. At "The Home", as many of the "Inmates" call the complex, they have a happy hour every day at 4:30. They meet in the lobby bar and share a cocktail hour before going to dinner. This is where I planned the party. I called the family and got them organized then made invitations that I delivered to the complex and the staff passed them out for me. This was a surprise party, and I held my breath thinking that one of the "inmates" might slip and tell Dad-in-Law, but they all behaved very well.

I made simple appetizers and got a yummy store-bought cake. Our ex-wife brought finger sandwiches and a tuna salad with assorted cheese and toppings. I made tomato/mozzarella skewers, a shrimp mold, bought a veggie tray, and made a sugar-free punch.

We arrived at "The Home" and Sue and I did the setup. People started arriving and the staff started pouring cocktails. Sue and I were the greeters and Tom was with his Dad in his apartment so he would not wander out early.

At the appointed time, I called Tom and he brought DIL to the party. He was surprised alright. Even with everyone singing "Happy Birthday" and saying his name in the song, he thought it was all just a festive happy hour. Then Tom told him it was a surprise party for HIM, and pointed out that the entire family was there to share with him. I think he was very tickled.

Sue and I made plates for the less-mobile folks. And we all circulated, ready to assist when needed. Each resident brought a card, some brought gifts and a good time was had by all. Being a bit worried that dinner would not happen if we continued to feed them, we did the cake and candle blow-out and they all moved to the dining room for dinner. Tom and I carried the cake to the dining room and the staff was more than happy to cut cake and served it after dinner.

Tom and I were very involved at the party. He snacked a few appetizers and I had time for a glass of the blueberry lemonade punch. But for the most part, we circulated and chatted and assisted as needed. Neither of us felt deprived, and we came home comfortable, not queasy.

This was our first out-of-the-house party. I was a bit nervous that one of us might get sick when we tried this....but all was fine. And Sue was a fantastic support, not only to fussy me when the family was running late, but to the "Inmates" who absolutely adore her! One of the residents told another that we were Tom's Wife and Sister....well, I think of Sue as a Sister, but she is really more Wife than sister, but I was not going to cause a heart attack with that crowd!!

We cleaned up, put the lobby back to order, and decorated his apartment with the balloons and all of his lovely cards.

A good time was had by all!


Friday, July 17, 2009

Cheese Cake Recipe

Morningstar mentioned that her Sir sometimes eats cheese cake -- and messes up His blood sugars with the indulgence. So, here, for morningstar, her Sir, and anyone else who might enjoy it, is a cheese cake recipe that I've been making for years. It can be made sugar free and relatively low fat. It is very simple to make, and absolutely pure and simple and yummy...

Cheese Cake --
3 eggs
3 packages (large) of cream cheese or Neufchatel (can use lowfat or fat free)
3/4 cup of sugar or Splenda (sugar free)
3/4 tsp vanilla

Blend ingredients together with an electric mixer until smooth. Bake in a buttered, floured springform pan (I've also made this in a regular 9x13" pan) @ 375 degrees for 20 minutes. NOTE: Trust the times on this. Do not overbake.

Topping --
Large carton Sour Cream (can use lowfat or fat free)
3 Tbs. sugar or Splenda (sugar free)
3/4 tsp. vanilla

Mix the topping and spread over the top of the baked cheese cake. Bake for an additional 5 minutes.

Cool completely before serving.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

90 Pound Loss reached

I awakened today to find my weight has become 211 pounds. I began all this with a baseline weight of 301. Thus I have reached 90 pounds of weight loss.

Today t is down 67 pounds, and sue is down 15 pounds, so at this point the three of us have lost 172 pounds.

It won't be long before t drops below 200 pounds and in a few weeks I'll reach 201 pounds which will represent my having lost 100 pounds, and then in two pounds further loss, I will drop below 200 pounds myself.

This is starting to get "serious":)

Thank you for your support.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Learning to Live in a New World

We are approaching the 4th month anniversary of Tom and Teresa's surgery date. They are both seeing amazing physical changes as their weight drops day by day, and week by week. Now that they are pretty well through the physical recovery phase of all of this, we are finding that we are increasingly confronted by the other changes that are becoming more and more a part of our lives.

One of the biggest adjustments that is being driven by the post-surgical changes is that we are learning to figure out how to be social in the world without the very common lubricant of food.

Think about all the places where food is an integral part of our social lives. Most holidays revolve around food, or have traditional foods at their center: turkey at Thanksgiving, Christmas cookies, Easter eggs, barbecue at the 4th of July. Here, in the heartland, summer is the season for community festivals, and festivals are all about food: corn on the cob, and turkey drumsticks, funnel cakes, and lemonade. If you go to the movies, there is popcorn. If you go toa friend's wedding, or a bar mitzvah, or a funeral, there will be food in abundance. We meet for dinner and drinks, and we do business over lunch. We make birthday cakes, and we give chocolates to our sweethearts.

For Tom and Teresa, food has become something to be approached very deliberately and with purpose. There is the daily need to consume an adequate quantity of protein, and that must be accomplished within the constraints of what they can actually consume in terms of quantity. Right now, neither of them are able to eat more than about 1/3 of a cup of food at a single sitting. There are still a number of foods that simply do not go down well. Every bite has to be eaten with conscious intent.

So food can't serve as the social lubricant anymore. Food has to be FOOD. It is necessitating a complete re-examination for us all of the place of eating in our lives. We are learning to be social by being social rather than by eating with others. It is an interesting shift. Feels like a whole other level of living an alternative lifestyle.


Thursday, July 9, 2009


Long before the surgeries, I got into the habit of making applesauce for our family. Nothing fancy -- just plain, honest, simple applesauce like the kind that I think my grandmother might have made, and like the kind that Master's mother used to make. My version is sugar free... It has become a staple of life in our post surgical culinary world.

Here, if you are interested, is the "recipe" for this comfy food:

Apples (3-4 pounds) quartered, cored, and peeled.
Splenda sweetener (about 1 cup)
Cinnamon (1-2 teaspoons to taste)
Quarter, core, and peel the apples. I use a mixture -- usually half Granny Smith and half Red Delicious. Cut up the apples and put them into a large pan. Add enough water to cover the bottom of the pan and come up about 1/3 of the height of the apples. Add the cinammon and the Splenda and cook, uncovered, stiring occasionally, until apples are softened and the liquid is reduced. This process generally takes 20-30 minutes. Watch to ensure that the sauce doesn't boil dry. When the apples have softened, mash them to make an applesauce consistency. I like mine with a few lumps left, but suit yourself.
The cooled applesauce can be stored in a covered container in the refrigerator, and it freezes well.

Sunday, July 5, 2009


I want to mostly talk about the hernia that Tom has developed at the site of the main incision from His bariatric surgery, but before I get to that, I wanted to give you another look at how significant the physical changes that we are seeing really are. Three months ago, on Sunday, April 5, we took some pictures of the, then pretty new, belly wounds. Of course, you cannot take pictures of "belly wounds" without also taking a picture of the belly. Back in April, the belly was something to behold...

Today, the belly is much smaller. Take a look...

But, as slim as He is getting, there is this hernia that is beginning to look like something right out of a science fiction movie. Our primary care doctors do not seem to think that this "critter" is presenting any immediate medical problem, but it really does seem to be getting bigger day by day, and He is beginning to talk about consulting with the surgeon who did the stomach bypass about correcting this...

Friday, July 3, 2009

Independence Day Update

What with tomorrow's celebration of the 4th of July, Independence Day, here in the U. S., I thought it would be a good time to record how we three are progressing in our weight loss.

Today my weight reached 215 pounds, a weight loss of 86. t has lost some more and her loss now totals 61 pounds. swan is now down 15 pounds (without weight loss surgery).

Thus we three are now down 162 pounds total for the whole family since we began all this last March.

Everything seems quite well in terms of all of our heath including considerable health improvements for all three of us. The one 'glitch" so far is that I have developed a very noticeable hernia not far below my rib cage where the original incision was for the "hand assist" by the surgeon during my procedure and then re cut again when they opened me up to drain my infection. It is very noticeable, and seems to be even more so over time, whether that is a result of growth in the herniation, or greater relative prominence as I lose more weight. My primary care doc has seen it and has said it is a hernia and not in need of any sort of immediate medical/surgical intervention. It doesn't hurt. I see my bariatric surgeon for a 4 month check four weeks from today and I plan to discuss his remedying this. I imagine that means another surgery to repair the hernia, although those typically are out patient and not a difficult recovery.

Maybe I'll ask swan to take a picture of this beast so we can record this further anomaly to my ruen Y gastric bypass experience.

Thank you all of those who continue to show concern for us by reading here, and for all your truly gratifying expressions of support.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.