I want to apologize to those of you who have been so dedicated to us here as we go through this, who have had to ask us for an update because it had been so long since we posted anything. swan's post "Trudge" aptly summarized how this feels now. I am still hooked to the wound vac machine 24/7. I am slowly seeing signs I am better but, not at all feeling well. Today I am 24 hours without pain med. I had quit pain medications once before but then found that pain kicked back up when I started with the wound vac. I seem to be tolerating it fine now without any pain medication. I am sure the absence of that med will mean that I will feel better today and in the future.
Also I awakened this morning to do my morning fasting weigh in and low and behold, I am at 251.0 pounds. When we began our pre-surgical diet two weeks before the surgery (March 9) my baseline weight was 301. Thus, I have achieved 50 pounds weight loss in roughly 6 weeks. As dramatic as that is, I feel like I've earned each pound I've lost.
Friday and Saturday here were beautiful with highs around 70 degrees F and sunshine. Each day I got us out for a walk. T went with sue and I on Friday. Saturday it was just sue and I. We took the "full circuit." There is a hiking route around our condo complex I like to walk. I had been out a couple of times before this and had done an abbreviated version of it trying to build my stamina. The full circuit we think is a little more than a mile. Each time it took me about an hour. Yes that's right it took me about an hour to walk 1.1 miles. How's that for slow! And when I was finished I was every bit as exhausted as a marathon runner who'd finished his race. It is difficult to fathom how weak I am or how little stamina I have. Then yesterday most of the day I had trouble walking at all. That little bit of exercise and my legs, ever part of them, were both so stiff and sore that it was dificult to walk at all. I was joking to my self that I thought I'd developed polio or muscular dystrophy or something. They seemed to have calmed down by the time I went to bed last night. I hope my strength recovers soon.
For M:e who is asking about the wond vac progress. The smaller of my two wounds has become very small likely less than 2 cm. in diameter and may .75 cm. depth. There is a slight amount of tunnelling in one location. The larger wound is decreased about 35% to 40% in overal size and depth. It has much more generalized tunneling but the tunnels too have reduced in size and depth commensurately with the rest of the wound's overal reduction. I have my next dressing change between 8:00 and 9:00 this morning.
I am bored and concerned that I've had no interest in sex since my surgery. I don't even think I've had an erction. I see attractivenss in my two and my nurses and am attracted. I've tried looking at erotica and porn on here and while I find it sort of interesting or even mildly entertaining, I just have little response. I feel that loss a great deal, and can tell that swan is longing for reconection and spanking. I just am not there, and am becoming increasingly sad about that.
I am adjusting to the eating with all of this which is not much eating at all. Still all in all we make sure that I eat the requistie amount of protein and hydration each day, and it has gone relatively well, despite my having dificulty branching out to eat more "normal" foods without getting sick (needing to remember to eat very small amounts very slowly is the issue.)
I am very tired of being like this and want to feel like I'm OK and alive again.
Thank you all of you for caring to be here with us. I'm sorry I didn't do a better job keeping you up to date.
All the best,
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.